snow

it snowed in christchurch yesterday it was beautiful. I got snowed in at my manfriends house and it was just dfhjbdfgkhdfgkf amazing.
I started talking for the first time about him the other day and once I started I just couldn't stop. So many feelings, and memories and moments that I was just bursting to share, bursting to relive and feel over and over again! This is intoxicating, it's incredible. But it's something I can't do, not now, not this soon. Granted I am not heartbroken over Phil, I surprisingly don't ache for him or miss him. I was convinced it would be the break up that would destroy me, it makes me doubt everything I ever "felt" for him. Sometimes it just feels like a phase I went through.

I refuse to rely on somebody else for my own happiness, I make my path through life. This is mine to live, not anybody else's and I need to embrace that.